Tonight was supposed to be as usual a quick run of the weekly raid followed by ToGC 25man.
I say was "supposed" to be. The Weekly was not quick with people showing up late and an attempt at 4 tower FL25 failing horribly at 40%.
Then came ToGC, with 23 people online. After pugging in 2 DPS we went in for the guilds first ever attempt at 25 ToGC in months. Right from the start the reasons for us being there became painfully obvious. Awareness and co-operation were terrible. People dieing to fires Snowbalds dieing slowly it was not a good experience to say the least.
Couple all this with a new tank recruit quitting WoW putting us down to 2 MS tanks and one of our veteran Ret Pallys also quiting and moral is not doing well.
There is only so much one man as their leader and his officers can do to help this kind of situation and its starting to wear me thin.
Cracks I'm sure are starting to show, I try to hide them behind a push to talk key but they must show through in my tone of voice on days like today. Sadly with hiding this from guild allot of it ends up wrongly on my partners shoulders who most of the time is very accepting of it. More so though its coming through at work as I put up with far less crap from the people I don't like.
I'm really starting to look forward to my trip to Sydney next month as an escape from the pressure. I find myself more and more starting to envy those guild such as BoE's Pants on Head who raid without a care and do so for friendship and fun, some of that is starting to slip away.
My biggest worry is if I can't sort this out soon it may led to burn out for the first time in 4 years.
I need a vacation.
FFXIV 4.5 MSQ, Orbonne Monastery, Suzaku
4 days ago